Wednesday, March 27, 2013


This is going to be a short blog post, covering the terms and phrases my dad uses during the course of conversation. For those of you who know my dad, you know that he has a unique way of getting his point across. So listed below are a few words or phrases that my dad uses in a way that no normal or sane person would use during a dialogue.

1)      PTS - Peak Teenager Syndrome

This is usually used to describe someone who is being cranky or grumpy.

Example: " are suffering from PTS"


2)      SMA - Stranger Mixing Abilities

This is usually used to specify whether you are an extrovert or introvert when it comes to meeting new people or making new friends.

Example: “You need to work on your SMA.”


3)      "Don't be in a frenzy"

This is usually used when your daughter starts dating a guy and you are nervous about the whole situation. You then use this phrase to warn her to not get in over her head.


4)      Negative Frenzy

This is usually used when someone is being very negative about the future or their current circumstances.

Ex. “Don’t be in a negative frenzy.”


5)      Madagascar Situation

This is used to describe an unacceptable, disastrous situation, with the term ‘disastrous’ used a bit loosely. For example, if you were to get a $400 traffic ticket for going 80 mph on a 55 mph zone, it could be described as a “Madagascar situation”.


6)      Pandemonium

If you go back to college and take your mom’s laptop by mistake, which forces your dad to drive 600 miles from New York to Pittsburgh to exchange laptops for his wife and daughter; this is a great example of “Pandemonium”.


7)      "Failures are the pillars of success"

This is usually used when you have unsuccessfully attempted to fix something, like the toilet flush and you repeatedly make it worse with each try. You can then use this phrase to convince yourself that it’s not worth hiring an expensive plumber and go back to “fixing” the toilet again.


8)      "Work is worship"

This is usually used to annoy the hell out of people. When you are sick of working and you just want to complain about the slave labor that is your job, you call your dad. If he replies “Work is worship” after every sentence you say, you hang up on him and question what your mom saw in him.


9)      "You are not going to be happy"

This is usually an understatement used to describe a situation that will make you really unhappy. For example, when my dad burnt several saucepans while trying to boil water, he called my mom and began with “You are not going to be happy”.


10)   De-bonding or under bonding

This is usually used to describe a situation when you have spent longer than a day with your family and it starts to become annoying. At this point, both father and child complain that too much family time has been spent together and a few months of “de-bonding” or “under bonding” are necessary.


11)   Black Spirit

This is used to describe the mood of a person whose anger is simmering right below the surface and may explode any minute. For your own safety, it is best to avoid any person while they are in a ‘black spirit’.


12)   Deep Breathing

When a person is nervous or anxious about something, this phrase is then used to annoy the fuck out of them. For instance, if you are nervous about your first job interview, your dad can acknowledge it and annoy you by saying, “You are doing a lot of deep breathing.”


13)   Musical Minded

This is a synonym for “distracted” or “absent-minded”. If you walk out of your apartment without your keys and get locked out because you were distracted while listening to music on your ipod, you are “musical minded”.