This is going to be a short blog post, covering the terms
and phrases my dad uses during the course of conversation. For those of you who
know my dad, you know that he has a unique way of getting his point across. So
listed below are a few words or phrases that my dad uses in a way that no
normal or sane person would use during a dialogue.
1)
PTS - Peak Teenager Syndrome
This is usually used to describe someone who
is being cranky or grumpy.
Example: "Hmm...you are suffering from
PTS"
2)
SMA - Stranger Mixing Abilities
This is usually used to specify whether you
are an extrovert or introvert when it comes to meeting new people or making new
friends.
Example: “You need to work on your SMA.”
3)
"Don't be in a frenzy"
This is usually used when your daughter
starts dating a guy and you are nervous about the whole situation. You then use
this phrase to warn her to not get in over her head.
4)
Negative Frenzy
This is usually used when someone is being
very negative about the future or their current circumstances.
Ex. “Don’t be in a negative frenzy.”
5)
Madagascar Situation
This is used to describe an unacceptable,
disastrous situation, with the term ‘disastrous’ used a bit loosely. For
example, if you were to get a $400 traffic ticket for going 80 mph on a 55 mph
zone, it could be described as a “Madagascar situation”.
6)
Pandemonium
If you go back to college and take your mom’s
laptop by mistake, which forces your dad to drive 600 miles from New York to
Pittsburgh to exchange laptops for his wife and daughter; this is a great
example of “Pandemonium”.
7)
"Failures are the pillars of success"
This is usually used when you have unsuccessfully
attempted to fix something, like the toilet flush and you repeatedly make it
worse with each try. You can then use this phrase to convince yourself that it’s
not worth hiring an expensive plumber and go back to “fixing” the toilet again.
8)
"Work is worship"
This is usually used to annoy the hell out
of people. When you are sick of working and you just want to complain about the
slave labor that is your job, you call your dad. If he replies “Work is worship”
after every sentence you say, you hang up on him and question what your mom saw
in him.
9)
"You are not going to be happy"
This is usually an understatement used to
describe a situation that will make you really unhappy. For example, when my
dad burnt several saucepans while trying to boil water, he called my mom and
began with “You are not going to be happy”.
10)
De-bonding or under bonding
This is usually used to describe a
situation when you have spent longer than a day with your family and it starts
to become annoying. At this point, both father and child complain that too much
family time has been spent together and a few months of “de-bonding” or “under
bonding” are necessary.
11)
Black Spirit
This is used to describe the mood of a person
whose anger is simmering right below the surface and may explode any minute. For
your own safety, it is best to avoid any person while they are in a ‘black
spirit’.
12)
Deep Breathing
When a person is nervous or anxious about
something, this phrase is then used to annoy the fuck out of them. For
instance, if you are nervous about your first job interview, your dad can acknowledge
it and annoy you by saying, “You are doing a lot of deep breathing.”
13)
Musical Minded
This is a synonym for “distracted” or “absent-minded”.
If you walk out of your apartment without your keys and get locked out because
you were distracted while listening to music on your ipod, you are “musical
minded”.
